Thursday, August 14, 2008

Stand Up Lines

I've been listening to this station on XM in the car - its called Laugh USA. It is just standup comedians all the time. I found this one guy, who is the most hilarious deadpan comedian. His name is Steven Wright. I decided to post a few of his really funny one-liners:

1. "Did you sleep good?" "No, I made a couple of mistakes."

2. I was reading the dictionary; I thought it was a poem about everything.

3. I like my dental hygienist. I think she's very pretty. So when I'm waiting in her office I eat an entire bag of Oreo cookies. Sometimes she has to cancel all her other appointments.

4. I have a box of powdered water. I never know what to add.

5. I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious!

That's all for now!

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