Thursday, February 25, 2010

Recent realization

Sorry in advance that this is a bit long!

I had a realization the other day. If you clicked on either of the links in my last post, you might realize what I am talking about. Just in case you were wondering—Rebecca is my middle name.

I was invited to present with Dr. Hodgson on “Parenting a child with ADHD.” Yes, I realize that I don’t actually have children, much less ones with ADHD. However, she asked me to speak so I could lend “personal experience” to the lecture. You see, I was diagnosed with ADHD just over a year ago. It isn’t something I have told many people, and I struggled about whether I should tell that audience. I realized however, that the reason I didn’t want to tell people is because I was afraid people would perceive me differently because I have a so-called “mental health diagnosis.”

Stereotypically, I don’t fit into the ADHD category. I’m not “hyper” and never have been. I just tend to lose focus easily, struggle with organization and time management, and other less “obvious” symptoms. I sometimes get distracted in conversations, not because I don’t want to pay attention, but because my mind gets excited about thinking about other things!!! Since being diagnosed, I have realized the full impact this has had on relationships, and have been working on being more “present” and more organized. I want to focus my career on research on ADHD, and how this can affect relationships and families (because it absolutely can!!!).

I didn’t want people to look at me differently because I have ADHD, but I realized that by telling my story, I can give people hope. It was wonderful to have people come up to me after the presentation and ask me questions about ADHD, and seek my advice (!?!). Although I didn’t get into the PhD program this year, it gave me the opportunity and motivation to spend a lot of time researching ADHD. I know I was supposed to apply to the PhD program this year—but maybe that was the reason! I know that I have been, and will continue to be lead and guided to what I am supposed to do, and where I am needed. Sometimes it’s a bit frustrating, because I am not on the “mommy track” right now, and it’s hard to see all of my friends have babies and know that I have been prompted to get a PhD! Feel free to check out my blog—where I will be sharing my story in much more depth (which is why I have chosen to use a pseudonym, it is after all, still the internet).

Thanks for being my friend!


Tinkerbel said...

Just wanted to let you know you are amazing!! I love that you know what you want and how you are going to get there. I also felt strongly about reaching my professional goals before kids. I know it must be strange to have so many around you in "parenting mode" but stay strong!! Now that I am going to have a baby I am realizing how precious the 6 years Paul and I will have had alone together are. Enjoy being able to stay out late, take off at a moment's notice, and focus on each other.

Tay said...

You do? How interesting. You certainly do well with it considering so many obstacles it presents. :) I have two cousins and two nephews and a niece with ADHD. Not fun. I'm glad that you are getting to a good point in your life and dealing with it well. You are so great Marina!

Sarah said...

yay for you! i think it's great. and thanks for following my blog. btw, i really, really, really want to see more pics of this dark hair of yours.

don't worry about the baby/no baby thing. honestly, you are the only one who can receive revelation for you. follow whatever you feel is right and stay open to the spirit and you won't go wrong.

shilo said...

I love you just the way you are, as do the people that really care about you. Sharing your inner struggle just raises the level of respect I have for you and all you have accomplished. You are incredible!

Tieky Torch said...

Wow! Way to go Marina! Go for it! I admire you and if the Spirit tells you, dont be afraid to tell people that. You will be great! Hope you guys are doing well! We need to hang out again! We miss having you guys in our ward!

TheMoney said...

Marina love! Remember me? I feel like it's been forever since we talked, but I saw you updated your blog so I checked it out! I love that you want to get a PHD and feel like I understand when you're talking about "not being on the mommy" track because I've started the process to try to get into grad school lately and have thought about that a lot. Also, I love that you found something you're really interested in (ADHD) and now you're making me wonder if I have it too! My mom and brother were both diagnosed with it a looong time ago, but I just assumed I didn't have it because i'm not "hyper." I sure do loose my keys a lot though... Anyway, I love you!